Five Blogs in One (2008)

1. Quote from The 9 Steps to Emotional Fitness® Book.

"This Swamp May Not Be Much, But It’s Mine"

This is, perhaps, another way of saying “wherever you go, there you are”. Since you were born, you have been in your own place, and always a place of your own making. Like it or not, it’s yours; and here’s the point, you can make it just as you want it.

The “swamp” may be your physical environment, your home, place of work or wherever you hang out. It may also be the place in which you view yourself in life; how you see yourself fit into your community, your personal and professional world and the place where you feel you have arrived in your life.

The centre of your own being is within you. That’s your real swamp. And out of that swamp, just as it has been in nature, can emerge the unique individual that is your personal offering to the world. Even if you don’t think it’s much, just think about how special it is.

Written by Warren Redman (2008)

2. Quote from The 9 Steps to Emotional Fitness® Book.

   "ASSUMPTIONS ARE THE DEATH OF COMMUNICATION"

   
   

“I thought you said you’d done that.” “No, I said I’d need more time and some training before I could complete it.” “Well, I assumed you were getting the training.” “No, I was waiting for you to train me.”

This was the gist of a conversation I overheard recently in a coffee bar between two people working in the head office of a large corporation. Couples make same kind of assumptions, each thinking that the other said or meant something that never got checked out until, perhaps, they talk it through in front of me.

Everywhere, in small and large organizations, in families and across communities, communication breaks down because we make assumptions based on what we believe instead of listening and understanding what the other actually means.

Our Emotional Fitness® training and coaching enables individuals, couples, teams and organizations to create internal environments where they can truly communicate in a way that brings the best out of everyone.

Once we become more emotionally fit, it is easier to set aside the inner voices that prevent us from seeing and hearing clearly. Check out your own assumptions next time you have a conversation – and don’t assume the other person is the one who has to change!

Written by Warren Redman (2008)

3. Quote from The 9 Steps to Emotional Fitness® Book.

   "Having No Choice Is Always A Personal Option"

   
   

   Last week I was in the UK spending time with family members – something that doesn’t happen often for me these days. It was the occasion of my father’s 90th birthday. He was surrounded by his children and most of his grandchildren.

   
   

   During the conversations and the memories they evoked, I found myself drawn into times when, as young boy, I felt frustrated because it appeared that I had no choice in how my life was being mapped out for me.

   
   

   It may be true that when we are small children, our choices are pretty limited in terms of the big things in life. One of the things we need to learn as we develop and grow into adulthood is that we always have a choice.

   
   

   When you hear yourself say that you have no choice but to continue this or that, or that you can’t take a decision to change something in your life, you are reverting to an old childhood pattern of feeling powerless. You can make the excuses that you lack resources, time or money, or that other people would be upset. In the end choosing not to do or to do what in your heart you really want is solely within your power.

   When I was in England I went to visit an old and dear friend who is battling the return of a cancer that has been dogging her for years. In the past she has always fought it off; this time the signs are not good. Her choice is to face each day with joy and determination to move ahead with her life enthusiastically.

   
   

   What’s your choice?

Written by Warren Redman (2008)

4. Quote from The 9 Steps to Emotional Fitness® Book

   "Next Time You Breath, Notice It Is A Miracle"

   
   

   Taking things for granted is the way most of us live our lives; right up until we see or experience something that brings us up sharply. Flicking on a light switch or turning on the tap for a kettle of water may be an automatic and casual act to us. To the mother sitting holding her starving child in Ethiopia or the father trying to protect his family in Afghanistan those tiny acts would be seen as miracles. Miracles are not those rare, cataclysmic and mind-altering events that only seem to happen to others; they are the tiny things in our everyday lives. We just need to notice them.

   
   

   Part of the role of an Emotional Fitness® Coach is to mirror back to you the experiences you are having in a way that encourages you to see them as little short of miraculous. When a client of one of our coaches recently told her that he had just been through one of the hardest periods of his life and went on to describe the traumas he had faced, she was able to help him to see the inner strength that enabled him to seek support, something he had not done before.

   
   

   “You’re right,” he reflected. “It’s a miracle for me to have asked anyone for help. I always believed that I had to work everything out for myself. Now that I’ve started doing this I realize how much I’ve been missing.”

   
   

   We can create the small, personal miracles for ourselves whenever we want. It helps to notice the miracles first, like being alive; like breathing.

   
   

   Written by Warren Redman (2008)

5. Quote from The 9 Steps to Emotional Fitness® Book

   "There Are Four L’S In Life: Love, Laughter, Listening And Learning"

   
   

   One of the processes we use in Emotional Fitness is called the Lifescale. It consists of ten questions, which together helps us make sense of the balance we have between our satisfactions and frustrations in life. Each question has a key word that happens to begin with P, such as Pleasure and Pain, Peace or Pressure.

   
   

   As a fan of cryptic crosswords and word games generally, as well as being a writer, I am fascinated by how we use words to express our feelings and beliefs. There is a power to the words we use that can change whole perspectives and ways of living.

   If you care to try a definition of life (without being technical about it) you might find it daunting and even unrewarding. If you look at its meaning, you may get into so many hypothetical possibilities that you go around in circles. If, however, you take the particular perspective I offer here and use the first letter of life to stand for love, laughter, listening and learning, what happens?

   
   

   Let me know. And while you’re at it, come up with other possibilities – for example, the four H’s in Human Happiness, Health, and Heart.

   Written by Warren Redman (2008)